how to get girls to like you:
- compliment their eyebrows
- eat them out
- Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
- Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
- ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
- Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
- Dad: *chokes into his drink*
- ROL: You should respect your elders.
- Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
- Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
- ROL: *storms off*
- Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
- Me: What?
- Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.
I just want someone who will kiss me when I’m mad and lets me cry in front of them and buys me pizza and watches scary movies with me and holds my hand real tight even if it’s sweaty and thinks I’m beautiful no matter what I look like and lets me steal their sweaters so I can sleep with their smell on my skin and who laughs at the same things I do and just never lets me go, no matter how hard I try to push them away.
maybe the little bruises and cuts that show up on your body seemingly out of nowhere are actually little injuries that happened to your soulmate and you get the same marks on your skin as them
write a book
do a movie